Our Little Precious

Tomorrow, Adelyn will be one month old. And it's taken me this long to blog about her coming into the world. Yeah, she keeps me pretty busy!

Adelyn was due on April 16,  but didn't come. That was no surprise, for the 5 weeks before her due date I hadn't dilated more than 1 cm and she hadn't dropped yet. On the 17th I had a doctor's appointment where I figured we'd schedule an induction for April 23 (the "mercy rule" my doctor has is that he won't make me be pregnant for more than a week past the due date). That wasn't exactly the case though. Ady had been transverse (laying sideways) my WHOLE pregnancy, and since the doctor had never said anything about it, I wasn't concerned about it. One the 17th though, the nurse acted like it was a HUGE deal that she was transverse. So when the doctor came in I asked him if he could tell which bump in my side was the bum and which bump was the head. He got his ultrasound equipment and and figured out Ady's head was poking out on my left side, and her bum was poking out on my right side. Then he told me we had two options. Option one was to try a version (turning her by pressing on my stomach) or a c-section. I didn't want a c-section so I opted for the version. He told me that there was a 1 in 5 chance that the version would work, and if it didn't we would have to have an emergency c-section. Then he told me that it would happen tomorrow. What!?! The nurse had told me earlier that Dr. Haskett was going over to labor and delivery after my appointment so I had joked about following him over, but really I planned on having a kid in 6 days, not 1!

On the drive home I made lots of phone calls. I know I called Clayton first, but after that, I don't know the order of who I called. I obviously had to call my family (I left Clayton to call his family) then I had to call my school to let them know I wouldn't be in, and then call my sub to let her know that she was starting tomorrow. I was so busy informing everyone about it and trying to take care of business (like calling the school and my sub) that it didn't really sink in that I was going to give birth the next day. Well, a little bit it did, in the fact that I thought it was so crazy that it was actually going to happen. I'd been carrying her so long and then all of a sudden I'm told "Oh yeah, you'll have a kid tomorrow."

Mom and Dad had great timing in coming up. They got there Tuesday evening and Mom, Dad, and Clayton went to get their whooping cough shots while I was at school scrambling to get some last minute things ready for my sub. After shots and subs we went to dinner at Chili's where Dana tried to upstage my big news of having a baby by telling us that she's pregnant- with twins! I guess it's okay that she tried to upstage me because I totally spoiled the her announcement. She and Josh called and wanted me to hold the phone up to everybody- why else would they both call?

After dinner we went home, visited a little while, double checked the hospital bag, and went to bed. I went to bed, but I did NOT sleep that night. I tried about everything I could think of, but sleep was not coming. For one thing, I wasn't comfortable, but mostly I was freaking out that I was actually going to have a baby to take care of and be responsible for tomorrow. In addition to that freak out, I was also worried how much the version was going to hurt, and then I was worried it wouldn't work and that I'd go through the pain of the version and then still have to have a c-section. By taking my body pillow to cuddle with into the rocking chair, I was finally able to get a little bit of sleep, but it still wasn't much.

We woke up at 5am to get ready and drive to the hospital. We checked into the hospital around 6:30 am and I got dressed in that oh so fashionable gown and socks. The nurse came and got me all hooked up and prepped and stuff. Some how it came up that the version was going to hurt and she told me that I would be on the epidural when it happened. My prenatal teacher had said that you don't get medication for that so I was surprised. The nurse said she'd double check with the doctor, but she was sure I got to be medicated first. Yep, turns out I have a really nice doctor (slash, with the possibility of an emergency c-section, it's better to be on the epidural already). I was absolutely terrified for the epidural too because I've only heard bad stuff about them. Oh my gosh, that was perfectly fine. There was a tiny pinch when he gave me a shot to numb the area where the needle would go, and then everything was fine. The anesthesiologist talked me through the whole process and it was absolutely fine, pain and worry free.

The epidural made me kind of sick for a little bit, but the nurse pumped some medicine into my IV (well, not some, she pumped kind of a lot) and I felt better. I only threw up once. Once the epidural had been placed, Dr. Haskett came in, drew a smiley face on my tummy with the gel, and started turning her. I don't think the epidural had really had too much time to kick in, so I did feel uncomfortable, but I'm sure it would have been much worse without it. Dr. Haskett pushed for about a minute and then stopped. He asked the nurse for a band to hold the baby in place and so I asked, "Did she turn already?" The answer was yes. She turned really easily, I swear it was only 2-3 pushes.

With Ady turned and locked in place with a tight band wrapped around me, they broke my water and pumped me with some patosine to start my contractions. Apparently I was carrying a lot of water because the nurse kept making comments and had to change the pad under me more times than she had obviously expected. Within the first couple minutes the nurse said she was sure I had just lost 10 pounds.

When they broke my water, I was dilated to 1.5cm, and I did not dilate all that quickly. So I laid in bed and waited. I tried to take a nap, but right when I was really sleepy (you know, when the epidural really kicks in and relaxes you oh so well) my parents showed up. Mom said she would be quiet and let me sleep, but then Clayton's mom came and they all chatted away and visited. Yeah, thanks for staying quiet for me. So I didn't sleep and I wasn't interested in watching a movie, so I was just up; bored and not progressing very far in my dilation. It was kind of a long day.

Although I was insanely bored in bed all day long (you know that's not my style), I felt mostly good. There were a couple of times that I threw up again (which was terrible because I wasn't allowed to eat anything so I was puking up stomach acid and whatever medication they streamed in threw my IV). It was kind of fun, too, watching the contraction monitor tell me that I was having a big contraction and then realizing I couldn't feel a thing. Although I felt fine, Ady was having kind of a harder time. Her heart rate was consistently above what they preferred and randomly her heart rate would drop way down and then come back up. Because they were confused and concerned about her heart rate, they took off the baby monitor that was on my stomach and inserted one that attached to the back part of Ady's head (they described it to me as sticking a pin through the top layer of skin in your hand- like some kids do- it doesn't hurt the baby at all). They also had me stay on my side, because it seemed to be easier for Ady, and they put me on oxygen. At first, it was just for a little while, but later in the day (technically later that night) they kept me on it. I don't remember why, but they also ended up taking off the contraction monitor from my stomach and inserted a vaginal one of those too.

Adelyn was turned and they broke my water around 8 am. The nurse who was helping me out was off at 6 pm. She kept hoping that Ady would come before her shift was over. I think that it was pretty close to 6 pm when I was finally dilated to 5 cm (after 5 cm dilation is supposed to move much faster). It was also at that time that the nurse got really scared that Ady had turned again and was sideways because what she was feeling did not feel like the top of a baby's head. The nurse was so concerned that she had to go and get the ultrasound equipment and check. No, the head was still pointed down, but something was weird. When she left, the nurse (who was SUPER helpful and nice by the way) said that she would come and see me tomorrow in the mother's room, or she'd see me here tomorrow if I hadn't pushed her out yet.

Another nurse came in took over my care. When she did the check she figured out that Ady was face up and that is why the other nurse was so confused. When Dr. Haskett came by to check in on me, the nurse had him feel it, and yep, she was face up and had her chin turned up. Dr. Haskett explained that in the position she was in, there was no way she was coming out. If she simply put her chin down, he could get her out, but in the exact position, no. He gave it an hour and said that if she didn't tuck her chin in in an hour, we were going to have to do a c-section. So, after 15 hours of labor, I was dilated to an 8, and she had not tucked her chin. It was time for a c-section.

I was a little frustrated because if they hadn't been able to turn her earlier that morning, we would have done a c-section. So, the fact that we were doing a c-section now anyway made me think, "seriously, we could have done this 15 hours ago and I would already have had a baby in my arms by now." Oh well, it is what it is. Dr. Haskett explained a little about the c-section, they really upped my dose of epidural, Clayton changed into some scrub type things, and I was wheeled two rooms down to the operating room. The nurses and doctors were in a really good mood and even put music on for the operation (they promised me they focus better with music on- and it actually was turned down so low that only the nurse working on getting things ready for the tests after the baby came out was able to hear it). I did start to feel a little nauseous while laying on the operating table, but they must have pumped that good stuff in my IV without me asking for it (and before me throwing up because I didn't have it).

Once I was on the table they cleaned off my stomach, put the big sheet up so that I didn't have to see anything, and Clayton came and sat by my head. Dr. Haskett asked if I could feel any sharp pains, and I told him no. I thought he was doing a test poke and waited for him to say he was ready to make the incision. He didn't say that, and that's because they started prepping my stomach for the c-section by pressing on it. Yeah, that's what I thought while they were doing it, but they weren't prepping anything. When he asked "do you feel sharp pain" that's when he was cutting me. The pressing was them trying to get Ady out. I only know that because while I thought they were prepping me, I hear Dr. Haskett say, "Oh man, she's still trying to come out face up." That threw me for a loop, I realized he could see my baby and that yep, I was already cut open.

Before going in for the operation, Dr. Haskett had already warned me that she would look pretty beat up when she came out just because of the way she was laying and had been laying for so long. When he pulled her out he said, "Yeah, she is pretty beat up, but don't worry, it will clear up." Ady didn't come out crying and didn't do much crying while the nurses were cleaning her up either. Dr. Haskett said not to worry too much about it because her face was so swollen, it was probably hurting her to cry so she didn't want to do it. But when she did cry, it was so quiet and pathetic. It was the saddest. Clayton left my side to go watch them clean her up. He said that he was the first one she saw when she opened her eyes! If we hadn't already known that Ady was a daddy's girl, we would have known it then.

For the last 5 weeks, Dr. Haskett had been calling Adelyn a booger because she was sideways, she wasn't dropping, she wasn't helping my cervix to dilate, and she just wasn't acting like she was wanting to come out. Then he had called her a booger again in the hospital after he found out she was face up and making everything complicated. While cleaning and sewing me up it all clicked for him. "Brooke, you have a ------ (I could look up the word, but I'd rather just explain it)." "Um, I don't know what that means." My uterus is in the shape of a heart. There is a fissure down the middle that lessens the amount of room that Ady had while inside of me. It turns out that she wasn't a booger at all. She was doing everything she could to do what we wanted. She had turned that morning, but didn't have room to turn properly, so she was squished and in pain, but she had done it. 

Once they got her all cleaned up they brought her over to me. I knew that they needed to take her to the nursery to check her out because her cry was so weak, so I saw how beautiful she was (even with the swollen face and bruised eyes), I apologized for thinking she was a booger when she had done everything she possibly could have, we took a quick picture, then she was gone. Clayton was able to follow her down to the nursery, but obviously I had to stay and get all cleaned up.

That epidural they pumped into me was pretty strong! It was the craziest thing seeing the nurse pick up my leg but me not feeling it. The whole rest of the day, I was still able to move my legs around, even though I didn't feel pain, I could lift them, wiggle them, and feel something when they were touched. Now, I felt nothing and it was tripping me out! Worse was when they were wheeling me around or when I tried to shift positions in my bed. It felt like I was on a boat swaying in the water. I did not enjoy that part.

Once I was cleared to move to the mother and baby floor I was wheeled down in my bed (more boat rocking going on there). I met my new nurses and was told about hospital procedures and things like that. While listening to them talk, the only thing I wanted to hear was how Ady was and when I could see her. I had to wait for the epidural to wear off a little longer, but the second they cleared me I was in that wheel chair! They wheeled me into the nursery and I got to hold my little angel. Unfortunately, because of the medicine, I could hardly keep my eyes open. But I wasn't going to let that stop me from spending time with my baby. While I was holding her they clued me in on what was going on. Her lungs were expanding fully on their own and she needed to be taken to the level 2 nursery. Level 2 was only next store so they let me keep holding her while they wheeled me next door. Then it was time for me to go back to my room and let the doctors and nurses take care of Adelyn. I made Clayton wheel me really slowly because I was feeling sick again, but it wasn't slow enough because I threw up again on the way back to the room.

Ady was born at 11:31 pm and by time I was taken to the mother and baby floor, had time for the medication to wear off a little, visited Ady, and was back in my room, it was around 3:00 am. I went to sleep (Clayton sleeping on the pull out bed next to me) but wasn't asleep very long before a nurse came in to tell me that they needed to do a special procedure on Ady to help inflate her lungs. The nurse explained that because of all the stress during labor, a lubricant in the lungs called surfactine had burned off and so they needed permission to stick a tube into her lungs and put more surfactine in her lungs. I signed the paper and went back to sleep. I felt bad sleeping while my little precious baby girl was in pain and in need of help, but I was exhausted and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Even if I could have gotten out of bed, it's not like they would have let me be there with her. In the morning the doctor came in and told me that he had done the procedure and explained it a little more. The doctor came in around 5 am, and then I was up and awake around 6 am. I didn't get much sleep that night, but I was strangely awake the next morning.

When my nurse came in to check on me I didn't even have a chance to ask when I would be able to go see Ady, she told me that I had to take my medicine and give it a half hour to kick in before I could go see Adelyn. The thing was, she couldn't give me my pill right away. I had to wait a couple hours to take the medicine, so I was trying to wake Clayton up to go. He was still really groggy and didn't want to get up but I told him that I would give anything to be able to go in and hold her right then and that with everything she was going through she needed at least one of us there so it was going to have to be him. I think it still took him a while to wake up, but eventually he woke up and went to take care of his precious girl. When I was finally able to go to see Adelyn, she was in a little bed with tubes and oxygen attached to her. Her face was still  bruised and swollen, so my heart broke for her, but I was so grateful to have the chance to see her. Her bed was raised and I was restrained to a wheel chair, so all I could do was reach up and hold her hand.

I hadn't been in the room more than 3-4 minutes when one of Ady's nurses came in and told us that injecting the surfactine wasn't enough, that Ady needed to be put on a ventilator to help her breath, but that they didn't have the type of ventilator they needed. She was going to have to be transferred to another hospital. I tried to hold it together, but within a minute of hearing she would have to be moved I started crying. It took a little while for all the arrangements to be made and the right people to be contacted, so while we were waiting they let me hold her. Although Clayton had been able to be with Ady more than I had, he hadn't been able to hold her. I was really lucky that they let me hold her, now for the second time. I had to go back to my room to try to pump some milk to send with them when they came to get Ady, but I was promised that I would be able to see her before they took her away. Once the ambulance was there, they sedated her because the ventilation tube needed to be inserted all the way down into her lungs. Then they put her and all the tubes and wires that went along with her into a clear box and wheeled her into my room. The paramedics explained a little bit about what they had done to Ady and how they were transporting her. I'm not exactly sure everything they said because I was just staring at my tiny little sedated baby stuck in the plastic box, about to be taken away from me. I of course cried while everyone was in my room, and then of course cried even more when they left. I did have a little comfort knowing that Clayton was riding in the ambulance with her and would be there with her in the hospital.

She was born on a Wednesday, and transferred to another hospital on Thursday. All Thursday Clayton was back and forth between both hospitals, sitting with Ady, and then coming back to check in on me and give me updates about her. I was stuck at the hospital worrying, recuperating, and pumping. You would have thought that without Ady there I would have been able to sleep and rest, but that's not the case. First of all, the nurses come in about every hour or two to check in on me, so that would keep me up if I were asleep, then I was updating so many people. Every day I was sending pretty much the same text to 20 different people wanting to know what was going on. I was surprised how much rest I didn't get when she was gone. I also spent every 3 hours pumping so that I could send milk down with Clayton when he went to visit Adelyn in her hospital. Down in Provo, Ady was on the ventilator, was hooked up to heart monitors and respiratory monitors, had an IV, and had a tube down her throat so they could feed her the milk I was pumping. Clayton was taking pictures of her and sending them to me. She looked pretty good, and the report was that she was doing pretty well.

On Friday I got some great news. My hospital was going to give me a temporary leave. I would have 4 hours to leave American Fork and go see Ady. I got the news around 9 am but would not be able to go down until 2 pm. The day didn't just fly by, but I sure was in a lot better mood that day knowing that I would be able to see my little girl. Come 2 o'clock I was so excited to go see my sweetie. Clayton and I drove down to Provo and went to the NICU. Ady was lying in her bed with all the tubes, wires, and ventilator on. Shortly after our arriving, the said that Ady was doing well enough to be taken off the ventilator. It was hard to watch them take the tubes out because she choked on them a little as they were pulled out, and her little cries were so quiet- but the ventilator was out!!

At first I was just able to touch her and look at her, but then it was time to feed her. When it's time to feed, they also change her diaper, and that's the time that I could hold her. Clayton and I just took turns holding her. Even though Clayton still hadn't held her, he let me hold her first. I was a little concerned that he never wanted to hold his daughter, but he explained that he knew it meant more to me to hold her because I'd been away from her, so he was going to let me hold her as much as I wanted. He did take the chance to hold her though, and I could tell how much he really loves her. After we had been there our allotted 2 1/2 hours, we had to leave. We found out when leaving that Ady was only supposed to be held and handled for half an hour- luckily the nurse was really nice and definitely understood the situation so she didn't inform us of the time limit until we were leaving. 

Saturday morning Clayton called me and told me that they would let me nurse Adelyn as soon as I was able to make it down. I technically was supposed to stay in the hospital until Sunday night, but as soon as my nurse came in I asked her to get the discharge papers ready. My nurses were great, and so they knew what was going on and made sure that I knew the day before how well I was doing and that an early discharge wasn't out of the question. It took longer than I had thought to get everything together. I think that was mostly because they had had an insane amount on women deliver the day and night before so the nurses were all pretty busy. So, Saturday afternoon I was discharged and went right to Adelyn. Once I was there Clayton told me that they had a parents room right down the hall from the NICU and it wasn't being occupied, so we would be able to stay at the hospital with Ady. Not only that, but after monitoring Adelyn for the amount of time she had been off the ventilator, the doctors said that she was doing well enough to be moved across the hall to the less intensive NICU. By the end of the day, Adelyn was moved across hall to the room where the only problem any of the babies in that room had were nursing/feeding problems. I spent Saturday trying to nurse Ady, watching Ady, touching Ady, and holding Ady.

I spent Sunday  doing the same things in the hospital. I would visit Ady when it was time to feed, then I would go back to my room and pump to keep the supply up, and because she wouldn't always fill up with me so sometimes they needed to top her off with a bottle. I did get a little more sleep that day. I only remember that I napped more because Clayton woke me up from a nap to tell me that they were having the sacrament outside of the room and that I could participate and take the sacrament if I went out. I thought that was really nice that they came into the hospital to do that. It was just the sacrament and a quick spiritual thought, but it was really nice.

Monday they told me that Adelyn was doing great and that if I could nurse her all day without her needing to be topped off with a bottle, and then they weighed her to make sure she was gaining enough weight through my feeding her, there was a high probability we could all go home on Tuesday. Monday was also the day that one of the nurses realized that Adelyn didn't move her left arm hardly at all. She had a great grip, and was able to move it if you picked it up first, but left to her own devices, she tucked it by her side and left it there. I was so focused on her face every time I held her that I had never noticed it, but apparently Clayton had noticed it and had tried to mention it casually to a couple of nurses, but none of them did anything about it. Although I was grateful that the nurse noticed it so that we could get it looked at while still in the hospital, I was scared that this was going to keep her in the hospital longer, after I had just learned that it was a high possibility to go home the next day. As far as the feeding goes, we were weighing her before and after feedings and at first she wasn't gaining much, but then I think someone let her in on the secret that if she eats well she could go home because she started putting on a higher number of grams each feeding. Come Tuesday morning, she still wasn't up to her birth weight, but all babies lose weight after being born, so they paid more attention to how much she was gaining with each feeding. As far as the arm went, they had it x-rayed to make sure that nothing was broken. Nothing was, and so they decided that some of the nerves in her shoulder had been strained while she was in that awkward position. If they were just stretched, then exercising her arm would most likely heal the problem over time. If the nerves had torn, however, it would be a permanent issue. The doctor looked at it, but the Occupational Therapist had left for the day and couldn't come take a look. Based on the fact that Ady had a strong grip and was able to move the arm a little when you touched it first, the doctor was pretty sure that the nerves had been stretched but not torn. But Ady could not be released until the Occupational Therapist cleared her. They made note that the OT would come first thing in the morning, same as the doctor to give us all the "all clear" if everything panned out.

Tuesday morning I was up feeding Ady when the doctor came. She informed us that everything looked pretty good- her weight was at an adequate number, she was breathing well on her own, we just needed the hearing test and for the OT to check out the arm. I waited in the NICU with Ady and Clayton and the audiologist came and gave Ady the hearing test- she passed. We waited a little longer and the OT came. She agreed that the nerves were just stretched and I watched some of the exercises she did with Adelyn so that I could do them with her at home- we were referred to the Head Start program who would come and give Adelyn another evaluation later and we would come up with a plan of attack to fix the arm. We had to fill out a few forms, sign a few papers, gather up our gear, and then we were heading home!

When writing it out day by day, it sounds like everything wasn't that bad and that the days flew by and then she was home. That was NOT the case. Hearing about how most babies stay in the NICU for weeks and months, 6 days really isn't that bad. But when you're in the hospital with your first child and you can't be with her and take care of her like you're supposed to, believe me, 6 days is a really long time. I'm not grateful that she had to be in the NICU, but I'm so grateful for all of the amazing people that helped Ady and I out while we were at both hospitals. Intermountain Health Care has some amazing staff members.

So Ady has been home for 3 weeks now. She is doing amazingly! The therapist came 2 days ago to evaluate Adelyn and developmentally Ady is doing great in all areas. There is a slight delay in the development of the left arm over the right, but knowing how far it's come, the therapist was very impressed. We decided that Clayton and I will keep exercising her arm, and in a month and a half he'll give us a call. If I am still worried that Ady isn't moving her left arm as much as the right, he'll come back for another check, but if Ady is moving well, then that's all there is to it.

Adelyn is getting into a pretty good night time schedule. It's roughly: eat at 9, bed by 10, eat at 2, sleep by 3, eat at 5, fuss for a while- bed times vary if bed is an option again at all at that point. So it's not perfect, but it's something. The only issue we are having with her (well, besides the fact that Monday and Wednesday she was oober fussy and inconsolable) is that she doesn't nap very much in the day time, so I a little bit worry that she isn't getting enough sleep, and when she does nap, it has to be in your arms. If she falls asleep in your arms and you try to put her down in her crib or bassinet, she wakes up within 30 seconds. She's crazy!

Tomorrow she will be 1 month old and I can't believe how much she is growing and changing already. If she is on the same trend she was at the last two doctor's visits (2 days after leaving the NICU, and then the normal 2 week appointment) she's gaining about an ounce a day. When we first left the hospital she looked so insanely tiny in her car seat. Now she looks like the car seat was made for her, it's barely too big :o( The fun part about her growing up is that she makes better faces now and the cutest noises. She smiles really big and plays with her tongue now. She also makes the best little "o" face right before she yawns. I've tried to catch these all on camera, but they are all so quick that I haven't managed it yet. I absolutely love her little gremlin noise. That's when she's really hungry, but has a pacifier instead- she chows down on the pacifier and makes a gremlin noise. She also has a "I can't tell if I want to be happy or fussy" noise that sounds like a monkey. Then there's the other cooing noises that are typical of most babies.














I love my baby with all my heart. She had a really rough start, but she's strong and brave and she made it through. She's amazing and I am so proud of her.